JUNE II |
| Imagine when you look in the mirror that the face looking back at you is someone you truly love. Just imagine. ~Isha~ |
| BACK TO JOY |
Self-Esteem Commentary: We are born into this world straight from the heart of The Creator, “beautifully
and wonderfully made,” with a Divine purpose in mind. The problem is that in Western Culture, we are
also born with an ideology of “Original Sin,” or as I have heard Pema Chodron call it “Original Badness.”
Right from the start the elders in our culture fill our minds with “not good enough’s,” “should’s,” and
“unnamed guilt”. We are taught that achievement makes us valuable, our worth is calculated by our
income, and our status is measured by our material possessions. The dysfunction of “Original Badness”
causes people to put us down, abuse us, and perpetrate unconscionable acts against us. It seems that
from the moment of birth we become buried under a heap of dysfunction However, there are other
cultures on the planet that believe we are born with “Original Goodness,” and self-esteem doesn’t seem to
be an issue for them, because they cultivate the goodness inside their culture, rather focus on the
weaknesses of human nature.
Overcoming our culture’s dysfunction isn’t easy; it requires deep introspection. You will have to unpack
your emotional baggage and lay it all out on the bed before you. First, you will have to look at the
behaviors you have outgrown, those you can toss out, because these are no longer part of you. Then there
are the erroneous things that others have projected upon you, they don’t belong to you, so give them back.
Inside your baggage you will find behaviors and attributes which fit you beautifully, so you hang them up in
your closet and wear them proudly. Also among the clothes that fit you, there will be those that are flawed,
snagged, and torn. These clothes are our habituated, dysfunctional behaviors, we have picked up. Even if
you don't want them they still fit. So we have to hang them in the front of the closet, because like it or not
we will wear them.
The idea isn’t to throw out these flawed clothes, but rather to compassionately and without judgment learn
to repair them, to work with them to the point where you either outgrow them, or at the very least accept
them as part of your wardrobe, which you need to be aware of in order to respond to them rather than
react to them. However, accepting our flaws doesn’t mean we let them run rampant and without constraint,
it means that we are aware that we own our behaviors, and recognize we need to work this out, as much as
possible in order not to add more dysfunction to this world. And the only way to deal with our dysfunctions
is to live a life of Integrity (review the Integrity Practice and practice refraining from reacting to them).
Living a life of Integrity not only helps us love self and others, as well. Our lovely clothes and our flawed
clothes are what connects to humanity, because this is part and parcel of being human.
The key is learning to love our torn clothing without judgment can be summed up in the Buddhist word
“Maitri,” which means “loving kindness and unconditional friendliness.” Not only can we learn Maitri for
others, but for ourselves as well. We can actually become our own best friend. Best friends encourage us,
support us, defend us, give us a swift kick when as mess up, and always forgive us. If you can release
yourself from unrealistic expectations and learn to love yourself as is, that is when the true healing of the
Wounded Heart will begin. Remember you can still be "flawed and fabulous!
and wonderfully made,” with a Divine purpose in mind. The problem is that in Western Culture, we are
also born with an ideology of “Original Sin,” or as I have heard Pema Chodron call it “Original Badness.”
Right from the start the elders in our culture fill our minds with “not good enough’s,” “should’s,” and
“unnamed guilt”. We are taught that achievement makes us valuable, our worth is calculated by our
income, and our status is measured by our material possessions. The dysfunction of “Original Badness”
causes people to put us down, abuse us, and perpetrate unconscionable acts against us. It seems that
from the moment of birth we become buried under a heap of dysfunction However, there are other
cultures on the planet that believe we are born with “Original Goodness,” and self-esteem doesn’t seem to
be an issue for them, because they cultivate the goodness inside their culture, rather focus on the
weaknesses of human nature.
Overcoming our culture’s dysfunction isn’t easy; it requires deep introspection. You will have to unpack
your emotional baggage and lay it all out on the bed before you. First, you will have to look at the
behaviors you have outgrown, those you can toss out, because these are no longer part of you. Then there
are the erroneous things that others have projected upon you, they don’t belong to you, so give them back.
Inside your baggage you will find behaviors and attributes which fit you beautifully, so you hang them up in
your closet and wear them proudly. Also among the clothes that fit you, there will be those that are flawed,
snagged, and torn. These clothes are our habituated, dysfunctional behaviors, we have picked up. Even if
you don't want them they still fit. So we have to hang them in the front of the closet, because like it or not
we will wear them.
The idea isn’t to throw out these flawed clothes, but rather to compassionately and without judgment learn
to repair them, to work with them to the point where you either outgrow them, or at the very least accept
them as part of your wardrobe, which you need to be aware of in order to respond to them rather than
react to them. However, accepting our flaws doesn’t mean we let them run rampant and without constraint,
it means that we are aware that we own our behaviors, and recognize we need to work this out, as much as
possible in order not to add more dysfunction to this world. And the only way to deal with our dysfunctions
is to live a life of Integrity (review the Integrity Practice and practice refraining from reacting to them).
Living a life of Integrity not only helps us love self and others, as well. Our lovely clothes and our flawed
clothes are what connects to humanity, because this is part and parcel of being human.
The key is learning to love our torn clothing without judgment can be summed up in the Buddhist word
“Maitri,” which means “loving kindness and unconditional friendliness.” Not only can we learn Maitri for
others, but for ourselves as well. We can actually become our own best friend. Best friends encourage us,
support us, defend us, give us a swift kick when as mess up, and always forgive us. If you can release
yourself from unrealistic expectations and learn to love yourself as is, that is when the true healing of the
Wounded Heart will begin. Remember you can still be "flawed and fabulous!
REPEAT ASPIRATION EVERY DAY FOR 7 DAYS WEEK 3 ASPIRATION: Today, I will start the process of unpacking my emotional baggage, seeing myself clearly with loving kindness and non-judgment. SUPPORTS ~DAY 1~ Compassionate action involves working with ourselves as much as working with others. ~Pema Chodron ~DAY 2~ With realization of one's own potential and self-confidence in one's ability, one can build a better world. ~Dalai Lama ~DAY 3~ Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves...~Julia Cameron ~DAY 4~ The hardest battle you're ever going to fight is the battle to be just you. ~ Leo Buscaglia ~DAY 5~ When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you. ~African Proverb ~DAY 6~ But the Kingdom of God is within you and outside of you. Once you come to know yourselves, you will become known... ~ Jesus Gospel of Thomas ~DAY 7~ REST AND REVIEW Now, without judgment review your week. This week I was able to look deeply at myself and find my lovability. Now breathe in how feels to be valuable and breath out the wish may all those who worthless feel the feeling of being loveable. Now, look at your short-falls. This week I there were times when all I could do is focus on my flaws and hate them. Breathe in your pain of self-loathing and breathe out the wish: May all those who feel self-hatred learn to love themselves. Feel free to use your own words in this practice. |
REPEAT ASPIRATION EVERY DAY FOR 7 DAYS WEEK 4 ASPIRATION Today, I will start learning how to be my own best friend. SUPPORTS ~DAY 1~ A tulip doesn't strive to impress anyone. It doesn't struggle to be different than a rose...there's room in the garden for every flower. ~ Marianne Williamson ~DAY 2~ Spending time nurturing ourselves is not a self-ish activity, it's a self-full action. ~Iyanla Vanzant ~DAY 3~ Self-love, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting. ~ William Shakespeare ~DAY 4~ As I learn to love myself, I receive the love I desire from others. ~ Shakti Gawain ~DAY 5~ Love yourself unconditionally, just as you love those closest to you despite their faults. ~Les Brown ~DAY 6~ God didn't make a mistake when He made you. You need to see yourself as God sees you. ~Joel Osteen ~DAY 7~ REST AND REVIEW Now, without judgment review your week. This week I was able to be my own friend and accept that I have a Divine Purpose for being here. Now breathe in how this feels and breathe out the wish may all learn to be their own best friend. Now, look at your short-falls. This week I there were times I fell backwards into self-betrayal and was unable to befriend myself. Now, breathe in the pain this behavior brought to you and breathe out the wish: May all those who betray their innate goodness, be free from felling their worth. Feel free to use your own words in this practice. |
Self-Esteem Prayer “Dear Lord, help me to allow my best self To shine forth each day through positive attitudes Thoughts and actions. Remembering my best feels the best.” ~Unknown~ |
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